A #NativerThanYou Thursday edition…

 

JerseyGipp Jersey Gipp

#NativerThanYou I am not 1/100 Cherokee, I am 1/2 Lakota

22 Jan

 

NeegannA Neegann Aaswaakshin

My greatgrandmother actually WAS a Cherokee Princess #NativerThanYou @spirtz @siloa

22 Jan

 

KimH1886 K-t Harvey

I don’t go to church #NativerThanYou

22 Jan

 

Germazing Germain Wells

I have a first cousin on every tribe of north america #NativerThanYou

22 Jan

 

cmyrden Incite Insight

So funny, thanks for the laughs, but I’m going to bed so I can get up to greet the sun becuz I’m #NativerThanYou Peace yall!

22 Jan

 

fruitloopychic ch€rB€ar♣ M¥r@n★

You call your rez dog and many show and can’t figure out which one is yours because that’s uncle dog,brother cousin dog..#NativerThanYou

22 Jan

 

mdubs01 Mike Dubois

My pet turtles have islands on them #NativerThanYou

22 Jan

 

chicosez Chris_T

White girls do special “exercises” so they can “accomodate” me #NativerThanYou

22 Jan

 

deechief92 Denette Chief

“@RMComedy: I don’t speak Cree but I can sing Cree. #NativerThanYou”..Lol

22 Jan

 

KSeesequasis Kevin Seesequasis

I don’t carry a cell phone, I carry fire sticks. #NativerThanYou

22 Jan

 

RMComedy Ryan McMahon

All my tattoos were given to me in jail. #NativerThanYou

22 Jan

 

LionelTootoosis Lionel Tootoosis

@

@Saskgal too crazy. I see how things can trend when people get onto a funny topic. #NativerThanYou

22 Jan

thatndnguy  #NativerThanYou they chicks line up to braid my hair… It’s not long enough… So they wait Write that down

I invented fancy dancing #NativerThanYou

Evolving  When my friends want to get ahold of me they go on a vision quest. #NativerThanYou

Has a deer for a pet #NativerThanYou

Ostwelve  If you know someone that actually has the number ’7′ in their name they are #NativerThanYou

dvnpete  When I have my hair in 2 braids, people approach me to do shampoo commercials #NativerThanYou

A moose sees me coming it commits suicide to save me time #NativerThanYou

I’m half white and my last name is England. #NativerThanYou

RMComedy  My frybread brings all the boys to the yard…you’re damn right, it’s better than yours. #NativerThanYou

My traditional Cree name has 22 letters in it. #NativerThanYou

When I shoot an Elk it skins itself for me. #NativerThanYou

amazingflora  I broke a white guys heart once & he created new age to spite me #NativerThanYou

cmyrden  When I show up at the US border the guards bow and pull over traffic so I can go straight through without stopping #NativerThanYou

ColinVanLoon  My footsteps sound like when someone shakes a rattle #NativerThanYou

RMComedy  I don’t speak Cree but I can sing Cree. #NativerThanYou

I developed the Squat Thrust to help native women develop their gluteus maximus #NativerThanYou

“@ColinVanLoon: The native studies txt book has a copy of my status card in it #NativerThanYou”

“@NeegannA: I had 12 kids by 12 baby daddys #NativerThanYou”hahaha holy – hope u had a good visit to the left coast

Ostwelve  When I cash my cheques for shows I get Pendletons, turquoise, buttons, beads and of course Tim Hortons. #NativerThanYou

thecheyguy  My auntie once used a roachclip with a feather on it to get my booger out of my nose when I was a baby. #Nativerthanyou

Evolving  They asked me the name of this place and I replied “Kanada”. #NativerThanYou

My skin is so tough it bends knives cause I’m #NativerThanYou

Native studies degree is really about my biography #NativerThanYou

When I do duck face it’s really me sucking in the sacred #NativerThanYou

ColinVanLoon  The native studies txt book has a copy of my status card in it #NativerThanYou

Ostwelve  My car only drives in reverse. #NativerThanYou

RMComedy  My dick is shaped like a lacrosse stick. #NativerThanYou

I was at the first 49er #NativerThanYou

Ostwelve  When you give and take something back…it’s called ‘Ostwelve-giving’…when you do it’s called Columbus Day. #NativerThanYou

Instead of jumper cables I keep a hand drum and gourds in my trunk for emergencies. #NativerThanYou

thatndnguy  A crow, 3 gross venture, 1 Assiniboine, 1 blood and a Lakota in 1 truck… Epic ride @RobWilliamsJr can testify!! #NativerThanYou

bamadisiwin  “@Ostwelve: I used to date Sacajewea before the whole Lewis & Clark thang. #NativerThanYou” – Wait. What? That’s my mom, yo!

When your weekly dinner routine consists of hamburger soup,kd n hamburger,weiners and beans all with bannok #NativerThanYou

RMComedy  I teach every class at First Nations University in Regina. #NativerThanYou

thecheyguy  In bed, my lady yells, “Oh Creator!” #Nativerthanyou

I Don’t Burn wagons I Burn Trailers #NativerThanYou.

I barrel race in my backyard around my beer cans and broken cars #NativerThanYou

ColinVanLoon  Tobacco shops on every Rez across the country buy cigs from me #NativerThanYou

The moon and stars are my gps #NativerThanYou

#NativerThanYou my grandmother’s (shimasani) sheep herd themselves.

I sweat Bear Grease #NativerThanYou

Avatar was me and creators idea #NativerThanYou

Ostwelve  When I was younger with longer hair I used to have Sweetgrass-cornrows #NativerThanYou

@TheSheepDogs follow me!! #NativerThanYou

ColinVanLoon  Napi is my friend #NativerThanYou

The horn blares when I take a right turn and the sliding door is held on with duct tape #NativerThanYou

“@LymanT: Kevin Costner once asked me to read one of his scripts. #NativerThanYou” dances with wolves pt.2

thecheyguy  When I almost accidently trip over something, I play it off by starting to grassdance. #Nativerthanyou

RMComedy  I don’t have to smudge out a house when spirits are acting up – I just tell those spirits to get the f*ck out & they do. #NativerThanYou

dvnpete  Medicine men come from all over come to Tucson and ask me for cedar. #NativerThanYou

I nominate @wapimaskwa69 4 a Shorty Award in #humor because he just made me laugh with this #Nativerthanyou thing. #FN shortyawards.com/?category=humo…

ColinVanLoon   People from real tough Rez’s thing my house is too Rez #NativerThanYou

Ostwelve  I used to date Sacajewea before the whole Lewis & Clark thang. #NativerThanYou

The universe is my playground. #NativerThanYou

m_melody  I don’t steal horses, they ask me to rescue them. #NativerThanYou

They use my wood to make #totem poles. #NativerThanYou

I am so humble I do not even own a smartphone. People tweet about my nativeness. #NativerThanYou

If I braid your hair you’ll fall in love with me #NativerThanYou

I cried during #DancesWithWolves #NativerThanYou #native #ndnz #fnpoli

I have always voted for Harper: #NativerThanYou. Oh wait, #sorry, that’s #NaiverThanYou. #CdnPoli #UN #Water #Ta… bit.ly/AvytFL

m_melody If I see a sauna, I point my lips at it and it becomes a sweatlodge. #NativerThanYou

Kevin Costner once asked me to read one of his scripts. #NativerThanYou

#NativerThanYou…Mardi Gras edition…

I put lard in my coffee instead of cream #NativerThanYou

I’m at the library checking my twitter feed #NativerThanYou

thecheyguy  Fresh hickey. #Nativerthanyou

Loving the #NativerThanYou tweets from @RMComedy ‘lol’ all night so far (Y)

m_melody  Over 7 gen, the Anishinaabe migrated from the east to find wild rice. I moved east & wild rice followed me. #NativerThanYou #NishontheRock

bamadisiwin  “@m_melody: I ride a bicycle, and it’s my War Pony. #NativerThanYou” — and it’s called ‘Flicka’ lol

dvnpete  I can take down buffalo with my slingshot. #NativerThanYou

deejayndn  I actually have my sweats in Mother Earth’s womb. #NativerThanYou

I pimp out the tricksters when they are working their night shifts #NativerThanYou

#World’smostintrestingNDN burped after taking hit of his hot can of coke and out came…….. #Nativerthanyou

bamadisiwin  “@Evolving: I’m sending this tweet by smoke signal. #NativerThanYou” hahahahaha!

Birds listen to my morning prayers and songs for their own use. #NativerThanYou

#NativerThanYou I prefer the old Spam cans with the key & starter tin ribbon as opposed to the D-ring pull tab & the easy open pouches.

My dog only responds to commands in my native language. #NativerThanYou

When Geronimo jumps from high places, he yells my name. #NativerThanYou

Evolving  @tribvisdance @m_melody @RMComedy #nativerthanyou its pretty close! Both hillarious! In tears!

Other Indians sync to my moon time #NativerThanYou

RMComedy  They named it “Wild Rice” after I served it one time at a party. #NativerThanYou

Boozhoo ain’t no bonjour. #NativerThanYou

Rodeo? Bah ha ha. I wrestle down two wild buffalo one in each arm from a full run. #NativerThanYou

m_melody  I ride a bicycle, and it’s my War Pony. #NativerThanYou

Evolving  I’m sending this tweet by smoke signal. #NativerThanYou

m_melody  Not only is it my duty to protect the water, but the water protects me. #NativerThanYou

RMComedy  No I didn’t paint my nails – they’re always the colour of turquoise. #NativerThanYou

dvnpete  Angelina Jolie once told me to paint her like a jingle dancer. #NativerThanYou

I told creator to give solitaire to band offices #NativerThanYou

RMComedy  When I comb my hair real fancy it looks like I’m wearing an Old Chiefs War Bonnet. #NativerThanYou

Ostwelve  My Bro Bro @nativephotog’s bones are silver and his blood is turquoise and is #NativerThanYou

KSeesequasis  My cheque jumps out of my hand to see if it’ll bounce #NativerThanYou

thecheyguy  This frybread didn’t make my mouth greasy. My mouth made this frybread greasy. #Nativerthanyou yfrog.com/nuwb4ayj

I just asked @shady204 for a smoke because I left mine at home *ahem #nativerthanyou

ColinVanLoon  They started the website native celebs When I got my first job in film #NativerThanYou

I have treaties as a dessert #NativerThanYou

Siri & my GPS can’t understand my Rez accident. #NativerThanYou

My face already looks like an old baseball glove #NativerThanYou

I have always voted for Harper: #NativerThanYou. Oh wait, #sorry, that’s #NaiverThanYou. #CdnPoli #UN #Water #Tarsands #Kyoto #UNFCCC #FN

Is just #NativerThanYou

KSeesequasis  When I drive by a farm, the chickens follow me to #KFC: #NativerThanYou

bamadisiwin  You know the “hey-ya” vocals in powwow drumming? Yeah I made those up. Couldn’t think of any good lyrics at the time. #Nativerthanyou

When I do Sweats the colonized parts sweat out #NativerThanYou

I once shot an arrow across the ocean and killed a water buffalo #NativerThanYou

Ostwelve  Twitter trending since Time immemorial #NativerThanYou

dvnpete  I speak all languages in Navajo. #NativerThanYou

“@Tachiinii_woman: #NativerThanYou I can guess correctly the contents of a commodity can with no label. #Navajo” lol good quality

Wesakechak, Napi, Inktome, et al learned their tricks from me! #NativerThanYou

I was one of the first #indians on @muchmusic #nativerthanyou

RMComedy  The White Buffalo Calf is okay with his white buffao hair because he say’s my fair skin is an inspiration to him. #NativerThanYou

@m_melody @ColinVanLoon showed me #NativerThanYou

Ostwelve  B-I-N-G-O is a song about an old rez dog I had. #NativerThanYou

It use to be just called Pow but then I came out as a dancer and it changed to Pow Wow #NativerThanYou

m_melody  @KimH1886 WHERE?! #NativerThanYou

I am not a mascot but I always seem to end up on team jerseys. #NativerThanYou

I know how to bank my treaty money. Haven’t had a ride to the Rez in like 20 years. #NativerThanYou

m_melody  I make everyone else wish they were Anishinaabe. #NativerThanYou

I own Veteran Native Woman Owned DB Payday Loan Enterprise. #NativerThanYou

RMComedy  Hoka-Hey is my middle name. #NativerThanYou

m_melody  I can whisper a single word, and the Minister of Indian Affairs will lose his position. #NativerThanYou

I stuff my bra with Bingo Balls #NativerThanYou

ColinVanLoon  lol laughed hard at this “@Ostwelve: Graham Greene will play me in a movie #NativerThanYou”

@Ostwelve omg @ColinVanLoon is dying over here from that one #NativerThanYou

#NativerThanYou NDN casinos roll out the red carpet for me!

I have been banned from Bingo because I dab the winning numbers before they are called #NativerThanYou (via @wapimaskwa69) ctfu

My minivan has 4 smashed windows covered with See through Garbage bags , still cruising around in this cold ass weather !! #NativerThanYou

amazingflora  When I talk in Blackfoot to white ppl they understand me #NativerThanYou

I gave Christopher Columbus syphilis to take back to Europe #NativerThanYou (via @wapimaskwa69) ha I like that

 

ColinVanLoon  When I give a deer a real mean look it just turns itself into buckskin #NativerThanYou

My Aunty is tweeting #NativerThanYou

thatndnguy  #NativerThanYou @RMComedy get his tweets from me!! Nd his Indian name.. “Coughs and pees little”

Ostwelve  Graham Greene will play me in a movie #NativerThanYou

dvnpete  Urban Outfitters hit me up to do their Navajo design, instead I gave them the cease & desist with my fist. #NativerThanYou

Aahhh, women and their moons, right? #NativerThanYou

I was conceived at a Buffy St Marie concert. #NativerThanYou

m_melody  I make the colonizers carry their own Status Card. #NativerThanYou

#NativerThanYou: When I make a sandwich, the #Balogna jumps in the sandwich on its own!

I can bring road kill back to life. #NativerThanYou (via @RMComedy) lol

No need to sweat. I perpetually walk on mother earth in a respectful pure way. #NativerThanYou

Getting your cousins cousin to sew a star blanket ina day #NativerThanYou

I get a free coffee and Colt .45 when I visit an Indian Affairs office #NativerThanYou

RMComedy  The sun rises when I wake up. #NativerThanYou

HOLY SHIT #NativerThanYou OFFICIALLY TRENDING

U mean they call u for money lol “@dvnpete: Various tribal councils call me money. #NativerThanYou”

I hitchhike to work #NativerThanYou

@RMComedy I am 4/4 NDN so I am #NativerThanYou

RMComedy  @atribecalledred sampled me in one of their songs. #NativerThanYou

Evolving My status card is tattooed across my chest. #NativerThanYou

Another Thursday episode of #NativerThanYou…

I did fancy dances at metal shows, and people made room for me. #NativerThanYou (via @dvnpete) niiiice

thecheyguy  I stopped in at mcdonalds for the free wifi to tweet this. #Nativerthanyou

m_melody  When people talk about their traditional territory, it’s all of the ground that I once walked. #NativerThanYou

dvnpete  Various tribal councils call me money. #NativerThanYou

RMComedy  I draw all the designs for Pendleton. You’re welcome. #NativerThanYou

ColinVanLoon  All the grandmothers and grandfathers come over to my house for tea and bannock #NativerThanYou

#NativerThanYou All my government ID addresses say Chief’s Road. Talk about stereotypes! Lol @thatndnguy

m_melody  I told Tom Flanagan where to stick his books, and he had a Third Thought and apologized profusely. #NativerThanYou

I have 16 cars on my property and none of them run #Nativerthanyou

I snagged from #Yahoo #NativeAmerican Chat. #nativerthanyou

LOL!!! Damn! “@amazingflora: Native men give me horses just to talk to me #NativerThanYou”

My hockey helmet is a Bill Reid cedar mask #NativerThanYou

“@its_tslav: I was Chief Sitting Bull’s Traditional Advisor #NativerThanYou” – lmao

ColinVanLoon  Even when I say stupid things a group of old men gather around me and say A-HO #NativerThanYou

m_melody  Those Hollywood Indian war cries? Merely a pale attempt at recreating the sound of me singing in the shower. #NativerThanYou

amazingflora Native men give me horses just to talk to me #NativerThanYou

m_melody  I can make @RMComedy laugh. #NativerThanYou

“@DesDesnomie: My family is judging so I know imma place. #NativerThanYou” bahahaha. Truth!

My Moccassins have bigger n more holes in them then yours ! #NativerThanYou

#NativerThanYou I can guess correctly the contents of a commodity can with no label. #Navajo

I ordered the first double double #NativerThanYou

I once made alligator moccasins. #NativerThanYou

thatndnguy  “@KimH1886: Indian time is set to my watch #NativerThanYou” I blame u!!! Lol

cmyrden  Every treaty day I get 10 bucks because I’m #NativerThanYou

My smudge always goes out cuz I’m too pure #NativerThanYou

m_melody  White people are politically correct because they’re afraid of offending me. #NativerThanYou

I only date cousins #NativerThanYou

Indian time is set to my watch #NativerThanYou

thatndnguy  #NativerThanYou I used to sell @tankabar… That’s #nativepride

RMComedy  The Toronto Skydome Powwow was cancelled because I started dancing. #NativerThanYou

thelastrealndn  “@RMComedy: I can bring road kill back to life. #NativerThanYou”

#ireallymiss government cheese…the gold brick! Lol #NativerThanYou

I told Walmart to stay open 24hrs for us #NativerThanYou

So loving #Nativerthanyou … Kinda loving how many refs I get…and how many great leads to educate myself about!

My family is judging so I know imma place. #NativerThanYou

dvnpete All of the Kinyaa’aanii’s belong to me. #NativerThanYou

I gave Christopher Columbus syphilis to take back to Europe #NativerThanYou

RMComedy  Stephen Harper is leaving the Crown-FNGathering early next week cuz he heard I’d be there in the afternoon. #NativerThanYou

I still watch North of 60 everyday #NativerThanYou

Lmao #NativerThanYou tweets are f*cking funny!

thecheyguy  Currently rockin’ my Body by Commodity t-shirt as I tweet this. #Nativerthanyou yfrog.com/ocbjvmcj

I’m at Mcdonalds WalMart in Winnipeg! #NativerThanYou

@JR_TakenAlive I only shower when it rains. #NativerThanYOu

Evolving  I was part of The Village People. #NativerThanYou

RMComedy  I tell a pile of beads to get their shit together and my full beaded regalia gets done by the time I’m done my coffee. #NativerThanYou

I found the magic mushrooms on my quest and had those first “spiritual visions.” #NativerThanYou

#NativerThanYou i got your tribal seal out of hickies

When I put on my makeup my horse puts on her war paint #NativerThanYou

I’m using my cousins phone to #tweet with. #nativerthanyou #native #ndnz

Don Burnstick gets all his jokes from my life #NativerThanYou

dvnpete  Johnny Depp once pushed my car out of the mud. #NativerThanYou

cmyrden  My house is a cupboard #NativerThanYou

m_melody  I was the first to braid my hair. Everyone else copped my style. #NativerThanYou

I can’t decide who’s funnier. @RMComedy or @m_melody #nativerthanyou

thatndnguy  #NativerThanYou I walk into gathering of nations… the eagle lands on my shoulder… And the chicks line up for hickies

m_melody  I taught Frances Densmore how to make wax cylinder recordings, and then gave all of her material to @atribecalledred. #NativerThanYou

I’m gettin a refill for my pop at mcdonalds #nativerthanyou

I have been banned from Bingo because I dab the winning numbers before they are called #NativerThanYou

Evolving  Victor is my uncle. #NativerThanYou

I’m at mcdonalds right now! Getting a #BigMac meal! #Nativerthanyou

The road I live on is permanently blocked #NativerThanYou

I once rattled my tongue for a dude – he put it on his resume. #NativerThanYou

My grandfather is on the USA nickel. #NativerThanYou

My cars only drive in reverse #NativerThanYou

Stairs off at the trash buildup along the highways with a tear in my eye #NativerThanYou

I don’t own any movies without Wes Studi or Adam beach in it. #NativerThanYou

RMComedy  I have my own category at the NAMMY’s. It’s called the “Holy F*ck He’s Way More Nativer Than You.” I win every year. #NativerThanYou

@m_melody Your #NativerThanYou tweets are just brilliant, I am dying over here…

dvnpete  I break in horses by telling them to settle down in Navajo. #NativerThanYou

I wore my hair in braids first cuz it bugged me while berry picking and everyone liked it #NativerThanYou

After a drum-making hiatus…#NativerThanYou returns…

#NativerThanYou The fry bread inspector asks me for permission

My eggs are roe #NativerThanYou

I get paid to go to school and still don’t go #NativerThanYou

Damn girl u got sum nice lips #NativerThanYou

When you’ve got spaghetti jars *no labels* for ur juice cup #NativerThanYou 7 in my ndn cupboard

I can never evr make it a round at tha powwow cuz so many people wanna talk to me #NativerThanYou

I’m a massause! #nativerthanyou

thatndnguy  #NativerThanYou I sneeze, piss, and shit Pendleton designs

ColinVanLoon  When I sleep talk pow wow songs come out #NativerThanYou

cmyrden  People don’t drive to my house to see me, they portage. #NativerThanYou

I don’t work or need a job because I have per-cap. #NativerThanYou

The creator brings me tobacco when he comes and sees me #NativerThanYou

thecheyguy  When I need to crank up the heat in the sweatlodge, I shoot a boogie from my nostril on the hot rocks. Pssssss! #Nativerthanyou

RMComedy  I can bring road kill back to life. #NativerThanYou

dvnpete  The French consider my Navajo taco, a delicacy. #NativerThanYou

ColinVanLoon  When I wanna hear music I don’t turn on the radio I just give Buffy st.marie a quarter and she sings to me #NativerThanYou

Bring Ndnsports back! I know was drama & we didn’t talk sports but it brought city & Rez ndnz 2gether #NativerThanYou

Ostwelve  @nativephotog My tribe’s frybread is the opposite of glutenfree and is fully larded #NativerThanYou

m_melody  You know that Louis Riel “My people will sleep for 100 years…” quote? I told them all to wake up. #NativerThanYou

I stole the sun so Lorne Cardinal arrested me #NativerThanYou

When peeps ask me for directions I point with my lips. #NativerThanYou

I have coffee and cigarettes for breakfast. #nativerthanyou

dvnpete  Jesus fed 5,000 people with 5 loaves & 2 fish, I feed everyone at GON with 4 frybread and cold spam. #NativerThanYou

Medicine Men ask me to pray for them #NativerThanYou

amazingflora  “@m_melody: Grass Dancers don’t dance to prepare the powwow grounds, it’s to prepare for my coming. #NativerThanYou”

We eat or use the entire sheep or deer #NativerThanYou

amazingflora  lol “@dvnpete: Jesus feed 5,000 people with 5 loaves & 2 fish, I feed everyone at GON with 4 frybread and cold spam. #NativerThanYou”

@Sherman_Alexie is my uncle Jkz no! Haha #NativerThanYou

m_melody  Grass Dancers don’t dance to prepare the powwow grounds, it’s to prepare for my coming. #NativerThanYou

#Nativerthanyou. The whole 7 prophecies thing was my idea

Those hand drum songs of Nakoa Heavy Runner are all about me #NativerThanYou

I was concieved to a Buffy St Marie song. #NativerThanYou

I have a Pendleton steering wheel cover in my ride. #NativerThanYou

Evolving  Lmao! “@KimH1886: That Three Day Road led to my house #NativerThanYou”

amazingflora  “@chadpoitra: better!! lol! “@thatndnguy: #NativerThanYou I took eve from Adam… Left her all hickeyd up nd preggo.. #nativepride””

I ate #puppy soup… #nativerthanyou

amazingflora “@ColinVanLoon: I had sex with Custer’s daughter and I never called her again #NativerThanYou”

m_melody  @RMComedy That’s the hardest I’ve laughed yet at #NativerThanYou.

RMComedy  Treaty Days across the land are planned on my birthday. #NativerThanYou

I LOVE NDNSPORTS #NativerThanYou

bamadisiwin  I originated the Florida State tomahawk chop…I was just waving goodbye. Honestly! Crazy white folks… #Nativerthanyou

thatndnguy  #NativerThanYou I was suppose to get the oscar for marlon Brando… But I had chicks to snag!!

My food source is fish from the city’s river #NativerThanYou

I can’t grow facial hair #NativerThanYou

I invented fry bread. #NativerThanYou

That Three Day Road led to my house #NativerThanYou

Evolving  when eagles see me they put tobacco down. #NativerThanYou

I HAVE A C.I.B. !! Haha #NativerThanYou

m_melody  I told Harper to apologize, and he was scared at what I would do if he didn’t. #NativerThanYou

I scare the white off of birch trees. #NativerThanYou

Im your Elders favorite Elder #NativerThanYou

The drummers at the rounddance follow my hips to stay on beat #NativerThanYou

RMComedy  I’m tweeting these #NativerThanYou tweets as Buffy St. Marie sleeps soundly beside me. I love Hawaii. #NativerThanYou

#nativerthanyou there usually to be 100 directions but the creator changed that to 4 so it is easier for me to remember them

m_melody  Hipster girls got it wrong – I’m the only Sexy NDN Princess, and it’s not just for Hallowe’en. #NativerThanYou

thatndnguy  “@RMComedy: The Indian on the Chicago Blackhawks jersey is my uncle. #NativerThanYou” redskins is mine!!! Chief wahoo is my dad

I got mad sour #toejam #nativerthanyou

#Nativerthanyou my pipe always has tobacco ready for me when I pull it out to pray

chadpoitra  better!! lol! “@thatndnguy: #NativerThanYou I took eve from Adam… Left her all hickeyd up nd preggo.. #nativepride”

I helped them win the battle of little bighorn #NativerThanYou

Evolving  When things go missing on the little people they blame me. #NativerThanYou

thatndnguy  #NativerThanYou Vine Deloria stole my notes in college

cmyrden  The only plants that grow wild in my garden are sage, tobacco, sweet grass, and cedar. #NativerThanYou

dvnpete  I beat Obama at rezball. #NativerThanYou

I beat The Lone Ranger #NativerThanYou

RMComedy  Louis Riel grew his mustache because I told him to. #NativerThanYou

ColinVanLoon  I had sex with Custer’s daughter and I never called her again #NativerThanYou

My beaver dam is why beavers are a national treasure #NativerThanYou

I turn firewater into tea #NativerThanYou

RMComedy  The Indian on the Chicago Blackhawks jersey is my uncle. #NativerThanYou

I have my own reserve – Dows-Lake #Ottawa. #NativerThanYou #Chief

#nativerthanyou tobacco asks me what it should pray about

I can tweet at @NCatleo and @pmharper #nativerthanyou

thecheyguy  #Nativerthanyou I showed up to watch the Bball game tonight on Ndn time & everybody was just now leaving. But scored free chilli & fyrbread.

I dance around a fire all day & night for a rap battle #NativerThanYou

thatndnguy  #NativerThanYou I took eve from Adam… Left her all hickeyd up nd preggo.. #nativepride

#NativerThanYou I make healthy NDN food

 

A groundhog day post…enjoy!

More adventures

“@KoolKal301: I can eat 3week old #bannock (with my teeth still in) #NativerThanYou #native #ndnz #fnpoli”

m_melody Nanaboozhoo tried to trick me, but all I had to do was give him a stern look. #NativerThanYou

@smokedancer99 taught the wolves how to howl #nativerthanyou

My eyes are hazel because I stole a coyote eyes when I was 2 #NativerThanYou

I shape-shift on halloween to scare cowboys & city thugs #NativerThanYou

I did fancy dances at metal shows, and people made room for me. #NativerThanYou

The guys sitting at the drum are actually back-up singing for ME. #NativerThanYou

RMComedy  Back in the day – I had sex with all 3 Sisters. #NativerThanYou

I communicate with animals & I fixed my broken circle #NativerThanYou

I was the matchmaker for thunder and bird #NativerThanYou

Tobacco rolls itself in the meeting for me. #NativerThanYou

@deejayndn @atribecalledred. I was once in a super group titled ‘a tribe called marinara’ so therefore, by association, I’m #NativerThanYou.

@ColinVanLoon : My status card is the treaty medallion. #NativerThanYou

I was the only 1 to beat John Wayne #NativerThanYou

m_melody  @RMComedy Cranes fly above me and tow my canoe so I don’t have to work. #NativerThanYou

My mom saves every morsel of leftover food and saves it in the fridge until the last possible moment before it spoils #NativerThanYou

I just saw a bear!! #NativerThanYou

I’m in a rap group named #RezOfficial #NativerThanYou

My cousins never bother to ask me for money. #NativerThanYou

deejayndn  Eagles are jealous of the connection I have with the Creator #NativerThanYou

I have a VHS & DVD collection of NDN movies with a lot of bad acting. #NativerThanYou

RMComedy  My hair isn’t long enough to have braids…but I still HAVE braids. #NativerThanYou

ColinVanLoon  When I go out picking sweetgrass it braids itself for me #NativerThanYou

LAME! “@thatndnguy: #NativerThanYou I went to visit Obama and renamed him… Walking eagle… So full of shit.. He cannot fly”

Awesome! “@Denetsosie2: I don’t have any #nativeGUYproblems #NativerThanYou”

amazingflora  Generokees get excited when twitter lists me as similar to them #NativerThanYou

I can make frybread and tortillas with any flour and baking powder. #NativerThanYou

Creator mixed me w/sum white 2 water me down cuz that was the most flava the world ever seen.Y’all really ain’t ready 4 me #NativerThanYou

They based that Elf character in The Lord of The Rings on my bow an arrow abilities #NativerThanYou

I showed the natives that they can herd the buffalo over a cliff #NativerThanYou #BuffaloJump

thatndnguy  #NativerThanYou I dance all the categories… ALL OF THEM!!

RMComedy  I don’t need a canoe – I just float and paddle. #NativerThanYou

deejayndn  Eagles carry messages from Gitchi Manito to me. #NativerThanYou

thatndnguy  #NativerThanYou I got a fan site in Europe… All of Europe!!!

I go to sweats in the winter just to escape the cold #NativerThanYou

I can’t dance at powwows b/c I’ll always win #NativerThanYou

I’m rocking my tsiiyaal, I am #NativerThanYou.

RMComedy  A.I.M folded the year I was born because they knew they’d eventually be out of a job anyway. #NativerThanYou

m_melody  I collect a Treaty Payment every second of every minute of every hour, and it does not begin to equal the value of my land. #NativerThanYou

#NativerThanYou I was the original Little Big Man!

deejayndn  I don’t get cut picking sage. #NativerThanYou

I ride around in Ambulances cause that’s the financial trade off for my land #NativerThanYou

The drum I back up sing for always takes first place at the powwow #NativerThanYou

thatndnguy  #NativerThanYou I went to visit Obama and renamed him… Walking eagle… So full of shit.. He cannot fly

I don’t have any #nativeGUYproblems #NativerThanYou

Evolving  “@RMComedy: My feet ARE moccassins. #NativerThanYou”lmao!!

amazingflora  lol “@ColinVanLoon: I just stare at beads real hard then the attach themselves to what ever I want #NativerThanYou”

Evolving  Slapping Medicine Man is my Uncle. #NativerThanYou

Even when I’m not in school I don’t talk #NativerThanYou

RMComedy  My feet ARE moccassins. #NativerThanYou

amazingflora  lol “@ColinVanLoon: @m_melody everything I do is Colinization #NativerThanYou”

Evolving  Buffy’s Bush Lady is about my mom. #NativerThanYou

I just stare at beads real hard then the attach themselves to what ever I want #NativerThanYou

thatndnguy  #NativerThanYou when I whistle… Panties drop!!! Elk medz!!

m_melody @deejayndn @atribecalledred Each of Northern Cree’s albums is dedicated to me. #NativerThanYou

RMComedy  I don’t need to go to ceremonies…I just wake up and live. #NativerThanYou

I come home every family allowance day #NativerThanYou

thatndnguy  #NativerThanYou victor nd Thomas on smoke signals was based on me

deejayndn  @atribecalledred samples me for their songs #NativerThanYou

I taught Kevin Costner how to dance with wolves #NativerThanYou

thatndnguy  #NativerThanYou @RMComedy doesn’t make a video about my ceremony drum… Even tho he wants in…

amazingflora  I’m really Pocahontas but they got my story wrong, I did t fall in love w/ John Smith I scalped him #NativerThanYou

I get kicked out every Family Allowance Day #NativerThanYou

Creator asked me if we should be red #NativerThanYou

m_melody  I lit the Eighth Fire. #NativerThanYou

Every time a buffalo see’s me they just run off the jump #NativerThanYou

Wanagi’s tell their kids stories about ME to scare them into behaving. #NativerThanYou

RMComedy  When I whistle in the shower it sounds like one of those real haunting Indian flute songs. #NativerThanYou

#NativerThanYou @ryanredcorn looks up to me nd credits me in his art #TrueStory

I made being NDN cool #NativerThanYou

I was suppose to be August’s character in Free Willy but Creator said my sacred abilities were to powerful #NativerThanYou

#Blackstone Council = My Council #NativerThanYou!

Hey @ColinVanLoon goin to the store, want anything. #nativerthanyou

Evolving  I was head dancer at the first pow wow. #NativerThanYou

m_melody  @tribvisdance Miigwetch! #NativerThanYou

I made the first batch of frybread #NativerThanYou

Ostwelve my tribes frybread is bigger than yours. #NativerThanYou

They based Blackstone on my reservation #NativerThanYou

RMComedy  when a white person litters in front of me – they say sorry and pick it up. #NativerThanYou

After a weekend hiatus…we’re back!

The next installment…(timeline, read bottom up)

I was the first to be diagnosed with Indian Elbows #NativerThanYou

#NativerThanYou I got unlimited EBT “food stamps” I’m a EBTillionaire!!!

I killed the first european explorer before Columbus #NativerThanYou

I taught Wes Studi to look so mean #NativerThanYou

#NativerThanYou I can smell an Indian Agent before he gets here!

ColinVanLoon  @m_melody everything I do is Colinization #NativerThanYou

Ostwelve  When you grab someone’s wrist and twist the skin in both directions its called an Ostwelve-burn #NativerThanYou

@RMComedy when white people litter along the highway, my left eye tears up. #NativerThanYou

cmyrden My front lawn is an arbor #NativerThanYou

I introduced Fire to the natives #NativerThanYou

Medicine Men come to me for advice #NativerThanYou

#NativerThanYou white buffalo calf woman blows me kisses… #tooFAR LOL

m_melody   I don’t need to de-colonize. Everybody else needs to re-Melody. #NativerThanYou

cmyrden  Clovis points were actually just me learning how to make arrows when I was a baby #NativerThanYou

I taught #Sweetgrass to braid itself! #NativerThanYou

#NativerThanYou I point at buffalo and they die…

My parents had a vision of my greatness before i was born #NativerThanYou

RMComedy  All of Derek Miller’s #1 hits were poems from my diary. #NativerThanYou

m_melody  @kiwinerd #NativerThanYou isn’t Canadian history, it’s Turtle Island!

I kicked Columbus’s and Custers ass at the same time #NativerThanYou

m_melody  Jingle dancers are replicating the sound of me snapping my fingers. #NativerThanYou

Sage smudges with ME. #NativerThanYou

#NativerThanYou: LMFAO, this is #NativeAwesome!

#NativerThanYou I gave Diane Sawyer the 411… #TrueStory

somebody is a little insecure #nativerthanyou

I was the one who got drunk an sold the land to the white man #NativerThanYou

m_melody  Bears hibernate because they’re afraid of me. #NativerThanYou

ColinVanLoon  I once partied with Howie miller #NativerThanYou

amazingflora  Deer throw themselves on the ground & offer their skins to me so i can make my moccasins & outfits #NativerThanYou

#NativerThanYou I gave AVATAR it’s name… It’s was called dances with flying dragon.. Before

m_melody  The Midewiwin Lodge is actually my cottage. #NativerThanYou

ok im sittin on the fan bus laughin rite out loud at #nativerthanyou peeps tryinto sleep

RMComedy  Raced an eagle to Vancouver – had time to eat lunch in Banff, piss in China & visit @Taiaiake in Victoria be4 he showed up. #NativerThanYou

m_melody  All of those sports teams are merely pathetic attempts at replicating my athletic prowess. #NativerThanYou

When I go fishing the salmon jump right into my canoe #NativerThanYou

I went back in time and impregnated many Turtle Island inhabitants #NativerThanYou

#NativerThanYou I kicked out the freedmen..

I use my fish nets for pantyhose #NativerThanYou

#NativerThanYou I got puppy breath.. Nuff said…

m_melody  I settled the settlers. #NativerThanYou

RMComedy  When I go hunting – moose commit suicide. #NativerThanYou

#NativerThanYou my dad is also my uncle… And my mom is also my aunt…

Evolving  The northern lights whistle at me. #NativerThanYou

@ColinVanLoon I never ever leave a tip #NativerThanYou

amazingflora I made the first fry bread as a joke but now everyone makes it #NativerThanYou

@mitchellblack duder this hashtag is going to trend lol #NativerThanYou

#NativerThanYou she had my baby first…

#NativerThanYou I follow @TashinaBanks nd @UrbanNativeGirl

RMComedy When Weesageechack is hungover – he calls me in to work. #NativerThanYou

My smudge lights itself when I walk into the room. #NativerThanYou

m_melody  @deejayndn My rabbit snares are my discarded floss. #NativerThanYou

RMComedy  Powwow singers don’t call them “honour beats” anymore, they call them “Ryan McMahon beats.” #NativerThanYou

#NativerThanYou I had her in the bushes before the pow wow even started

They dont call me pemmican breath for nothing #NativerThanYou

m_melody  When mining, forestry, and oil companies enter my territory, I point with my lips and they run away, never to return. #NativerThanYou

deejayndn  I hunt Mooze bare handed #NativerThanYou

#NativerThanYou I eat the kidney straight out if the carcass…

ColinVanLoon  Elders ask me for advice #NativerThanYou

#NativerThanYou I have 500 spirit stones…

I use totem poles for toothpicks #NativerThanYou

ColinVanLoon  @RMComedy told me a joke and I laughed really hard so he named his pod cast red man laughing after me #NativerThanYou

cmyrden  Wesakaychak hides when he sees me coming because he doesn’t want me to play any tricks on him #NativerThanYou

RMComedy  My smudge lights itself when I walk into the room. #NativerThanYou

The spirit bears told me personally they don’t like this pipeline idea #NativerThanYou

m_melody  I have a pet Thunderbird. When I have to fly somewhere, it carries me. #NativerThanYou

bamadisiwin  #Nativerthanyou <— the funniest hashtag ever!

I danced old style before dancing old style was cool #NativerThanYou

Ostwelve  I was ‘Red’ on Moccasin Flats because so is God. Shoutouts to Vine Deloria JR. #NativerThanYou

RMComedy  Gitchi-Manitou’s nickname for me is Gitchi-Manitou. #NativerThanYou

deejayndn  I get asked to accept Oscars for the winners. #NativerThanYou

m_melody  Museums didn’t actually steal anything. I just made them put my extra sacred objects in storage. #NativerThanYou

RMComedy  I own the sweatshops in China that sell EVERY dollarstore dreamcatcher sold in the world. #NativerThanYou

ColinVanLoon  I’m Blackfoot #NativerThanYou

“@Ostwelve: My eyes are still sore from the sudden amount of light when the raven found me in the clamshell #NativerThanYou” <- LOL

Ostwelve   I crossed the street in front of a cop car once and got a ‘roadblocking’ ticket #NativerThanYou

ColinVanLoon  I built the first teepee #NativerThanYou

RMComedy  Jesus called ME on the phone to see if I’d accept an apology on his dad’s behalf. #NativerThanYou

m_melody  My mansion consists of a longhouse, a wigwam, and a dozen teepees. #NativerThanYou

I’ve got a tire swing on Grandmother Willow #NativerThanYou

#NativerThanYou just keeps getting better…

More from the original NTY posts. Enjoy! (timeline, read from bottom & go up)

amazingflora Animals claim me as their spirit guide #NativerThanYou

m_melody Gathering of Nations is actually my birthday party. #NativerThanYou

Attawapiskat went broke cuz one weekend I took the check book and went on a spending spree #NativerThanYou

When I walk I create the colors of the wind #NativerThanYou

m_melody I can’t buy basmati rice, because it just turns wild. #NativerThanYou

amazingflora I know Napi #NativerThanYou

RMComedy I’m so close to Gitchi-Manitou that before I impregnate a women I ask her if she’d like a boy or a girl. #NativerThanYou

I taught the Northern Lights how to dance #NativerThanYou

That #nativerthanyou stuff is crazazy funny. Daaang.

amazingflora the Cherokee want me to be their princess grandmother #NativerThanYou

m_melody @d @RMComedy @o Apples tell me I’m #TooNative. #NativerThanYou

I was Thompson’s Rez Sister #NativerThanYou

m_melody @d @O @RMComedy I decolonize like other people breathe. #NativerThanYou

Coyote was hanging out with me then he made the milky way #NativerThanYou

You’re welcome…for beans, squash, tobacco, kayaks, corn and leather jackets. #NativerThanYou

RMComedy Priests chose not to rape me because they were scared of my spirit helpers. #NativerThanYou

RMComedy Eagles carry locks of my hair & hold them when they speak in public. #NativerThanYou

m_melody @d @RMComedy @o Eagles fly down and gift me feathers for my warbonnet. #NativerThanYou

#NativerThanYou is killing it tonight! I need to sign-off. Creator is waiting on me, we’re hanging at the Greedy Eagle Casino tonight.

@O @m_melody @RMComedy I’m the 3 sisters’ brother. #NativerThanYou

My eyes are still sore from the sudden amount of light when the raven found me in the clamshell #NativerThanYou

The friendship center wants to be friends with me #NativerThanYou

My DNA is two twisted sea serpents painted by Mungo Martin #NativerThanYou

amazingflora  “@m_melody: I gave Buffy Ste. Marie her first guitar, and Norval Morrisseau his first set of paints. #NativerThanYou”

@RMComedy @o @m_melody I’m Frank Fencepost’s neighbor. #NativerThanYou

amazingflora “@m_melody: When there’s an Indian Summer, it’s because I extended my vacation. #NativerThanYou”

amazingflora  lol “@O: If my cheekbones were any higher they’d be horns. #NativerThanYou”

@d @O I’m the fifth part of the medicine wheel. #NativerThanYou

When I go to the dump the bears disperse because they know they don’t wanna f*ck with this Mukwa. #NativerThanYou

Funniest man in NDN country! MT @RMComedy @d @O @m_melody r killin #NativerThanYou. Give them a follow to get your laugh on.

amazingflora “@Ostwelve: I was a stand-in for William Sampson in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest #NativerThanYou”

I’ve got sweetgrass for pubes. #NativerThanYou

“@m_melody: @O @d I punched out Christopher Columbus with my two fists – Pow and Wow. #NativerThanYou”

I taught your grandma how to make fry bread #NativerThanYou

Not only am I tax exempt, but I’m exempt from people asking if I’m tax exempt. #NativerThanYou

@d @O @m_melody are killin the #NativerThanYou hashtag. Give them a follow to get your laugh on.

@m_melody lol #NativerThanYou

I taught lakota’s the “Lakota way” #NativerThanYou

I taught Buffalo Bill how to be Wild #NativerThanYou

I am the previous Seven Generations AND the next Seven Generations. #NativerThanYou

Every time I sign a document it becomes a treaty #NativerThanYou

I have Two Spirits, because I’m too much for one Spirit to handle. #NativerThanYou

Every time I have sex it’s a grand entry #NativerThanYou

I taught the salmon people to swim upstream…before that they were known as the Minnow People. #NativerThanYou

“@m_melody: When there’s an Indian Summer, it’s because I extended my vacation. #NativerThanYou” haha so true

The Indian Act was written to try and keep me in line. #NativerThanYou

I gave Brian Jungen those Nike shoes #NativerThanYou

I use a cradle board to pack my groceries #NativerThanYou

@d @O My name is Status, that’s why people carry cards. #NativerThanYou

The #NativerThanYou tweets are making my night #flu #ndnhumor

Those weird sounds around the world are me and mother earth communicating #NativerThanYou

“@O: The Creator knows me as: “Bro Bro” #NativerThanYou”. AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

@O @m_melody Little known fact, but AIM stands for American Ian Movement #NativerThanYou

I don’t just dance with wolves, I’m their choreographer. #NativerThanYou

I have the Salmon. Thats where they are. #NativerThanYou

The Creator knows me as: “Bro Bro” #NativerThanYou

I gave Buffy Ste. Marie her first guitar, and Norval Morrisseau his first set of paints. #NativerThanYou

When there’s an Indian Summer, it’s because I extended my vacation. #NativerThanYou

If my cheekbones were any higher they’d be horns. #NativerThanYou

Adam beach calls me for acting tips every time he has a native role #NativerThanYou

The entire Wolf Pack was based on me. #NativerThanYou